Did God Make Me This Way? (Part I)

Did God Make Me This Way? (Part I)

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I was born with a disability. I have never liked the disability, but it is part of my every day life. It seems like it’s a part of me, and that I wouldn’t be the same person if I didn’t have a speech impediment.

The mother of a child with Down syndrome or autism probably doesn’t like the social, behavioral, and medical issues that accompany the ‘disability.’ And yet, there is a freshness in their child’s perspective, a different take on the world that is both unique and somehow essential. In some mysterious way, God’s wonders are revealed in the life of this person.

These wonders–God’s patience, His stillness and His strength in weakness–seem so important to understand that we conclude that God wanted us to learn them. And if He wanted us to learn them, perhaps He needed to send that child, with their disabilities and struggles and all. And that begs the question I try to respond to here. Did God make me this way?

Did He make me with a disability, and why? If He made me this way, what does that mean for my value, what does it mean for my place in God’s kingdom? What does it mean for people with disabilities?

 

If God Made Me This Way…

I want to say that God did make me this way, because:

  • It means that God is in control, which is what I’ve been taught. It’s what the Bible proclaims.
  • It means that I am still okay just the way I am, because ‘God doesn’t make junk,’ and
  • It means that my disability is actually okay (just a ‘difference’ or a ‘different ability’), if not actually a really good blessing from God

I want to believe that God made me this way because it is affirming, and it would seem consistent with my (flawed?) perception of what it means for God to be ‘loving.’ If God is all these things (a powerful God who is in control and does things only for our good), then it is easiest to accept disability as some kind of intentional gift from God, and–therefore–good.

 

But I Know It’s Not A Gift…

Just as I know disability is not just a curse, as has been thought for so long, I also know it is not a blessing (something I’ve already written about). The idea of it being a blessing is a more recent development, for all the reasons I listed above, plus a more fundamental one.

We want to believe that there’s nothing fundamentally wrong with us.

We don’t want to think of ourselves as liars or cheats, or selfish and prideful. We know those things are wrong, and we know we can do those things. Being inclined to lie, cheat, and steal are obvious defects of the human condition.

But there are other ‘symptoms’ of that condition that are not inherently sinful. As tough as it can be to accept, disability is one of those symptoms. Being disabled is a real-world sign that things are not as they should be, that the kingdom of this world is broken. All Creation has been affected by the fall, in all aspects, and this is true not only in our moral lives, but in our spiritual, physical, intellectual, emotional, and psychological lives as well.

 

Yet God Redeems All Things

There is secular humanist support for the idea that we are fine as we are, and that stands in direct contrast to the Christian message that we all need Jesus, and even then, that all is still being made new (which reminds us that many things are wrong with this world).

My speech disorder may not pose me many problems (which is not true for a large number of people living with disabilities), but that doesn’t mean there’s nothing wrong with my disability. Even if I can function at a ‘high’ level, this is still a disability. It still is part of a broken world that is tainted in all aspects by sin.

I was created by God, but He did not create me to be disabled (which gives value to my disability), He created me to serve Him (which gives due glory and honor to Him).

It is difficult to say this well, and yet it is so simple a thought. I happen to have a disability, and whether or not I have it from God’s hand is not really as important as this. I have the answer to something much more important. Does God have a purpose for my life? Can He use me despite my disability, or maybe even because of it?

God redeems. Two thousand years ago, today, and every hour, He redeems. And He uses me. He uses my disability. He uses my sins and my failings, and He redeems. He redeems me. He redeems people around me. He redeems them through me and my faltering speech.

 

He Redeems You

God may not have given me my disability, but He definitely uses it. The same is true for you. Your value (whether or not you have a disability) is not determined by what you contribute, how independently you live, how impressive your resume looks, or whether or not you can feed yourself. Your value is complete because you are a child of the Living God. And whether or not you are disabled, and whether or not that disability comes from God’s hands, He still redeems.

 

 

danvp_avatarDan Vander Plaats is the Director of Advancement at Elim Christian Services in Palos Heights, Illinois, a ministry that exists to equip people who live with disabilities to answer God’s call on their lives. He is also a member of the advisory committee for Disability Concerns for the Christian Reformed Church. In 2009, he developed “5 Stages: The Journey of Disability Attitudes” as a resource for Elim. The 5 Stages helps churches and individuals assess their attitudes toward people with disabilities. He is married to Denise (Hiemstra), and is father to Ben and Emma. They are members of Orland Park Christian Reformed Church in Illinois.

 

 

 


Local School Seeks Stage 5

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We came across this entry from the annual report of Southwest Chicago Christian Schools, a sister school to Elim that serves students from Preschool through 12th grade. The following excerpt from their annual report was provided by their Oak Lawn campus (PreK-8).

Being Co-Laborers in God’s Kingdom

In February, the students participated in a service project
called HOPE Packs in partnership with Elim Christian
 Services. Students donated school supplies that were then
assembled into packages by the adult clients at Elim to be
shipped around the world for children who cannot afford
school supplies.

Eleven students from grades 5-8 visited Elim
and were able to serve next to the adult clients to assist in the
assembling of the Packs. Here are our students’ thoughts
from the project:

  • “You might have your ups and downs, but you should
love and worship God for the unique plan He gave not just me
or you but everyone.” – 8th grade student
  • “Through this experience, I learned about how special
God’s plan is for us all no matter who we are, what we look
like, or how we fulfill God’s plan.” – 5th grade student

These reflections from the students resonated how we
are equipping our students in a learning community focused
on discipleship. The students understood the big picture of
this project that as people called by God we are to recognize
that all people have a plan in God’s kingdom no matter our
differences, and we are to be co-laborers serving in God’s
world.

We look forward to partnering with Elim again next
year in supporting this great program.

We at Elim Christian Services are proud to be partners with Southwest Chicago Christian Schools. Click here to learn more about them.


Imagine Something Beautiful

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Although we were almost all committed to serving in different countries, each one of us shared a common a common call…to love and serve in community with those who have special needs!

Disability ministry leaders from India, Zimbabwe, Nicaragua, Rwanda and the United States recently met up at Elim Christian Services’ Annual Outreach Summit to pray, encourage, and dream together! During this time there were tears shed due to the heavy burden of pioneering disability programs in countries where there is very little support, yet there were also relentless belly laughs from the joy of this purpose-filled fellowship. One of the greatest things that happened during our time together was the practical vision casting which came out of our discussion about how to use the 5 Stages message as an awareness tool with churches and our local communities.

Michelle, a disability leader in Nicaragua has been using The 5 Stages message with churches for almost a year now. Michelle had some great feedback to offer the group about how churches who hardly knew people with disabilities existed (because it is common for them to be hidden in homes), were now going out into their communities to find families who have a child with disabilities and invite them to church. Geeta, a disability leader in India who founded a school for autism, is just beginning to work with churches around the issue of disabilities. Like Michelle, she will also be using The 5 Stages tool to provoke the hearts of those churches in her community. After hearing how The 5 Stages tool can be useful in church and community engagement, Lucia from Zimbabwe decided to bring the materials back to her husband Davis who is a pastor and who also teaches a disability course through a bible college in Zimbabwe.

The more we come together around this common call, the more God’s love and intentions for people with disabilities will be displayed in this world. Their contribution can be the critical difference between a broken world and something beautiful.

kimresumepicKimberly Amos has a master’s degree in social work and education administration. She has played a role in the startup and development of several disability programs. Kim spent a year serving in Thailand and India with her family. She is now back in the U.S. and works closely with global ministry leaders who together form Elim’s Outreach Network.


The 5 Stages Goes to El Salvador

The following is an account of how Rev. Gerry and Laura Koning utilized The 5 Stages to support conversations and assist fellow believers in El Salvador in changing attitudes about disabilities. Rev. and Mrs. Koning visited El Salvador in June, and used the Spanish translation of The 5 Stages as developed by Paul Blas, Church Relationship Coordinator for Tesoros de Dios.

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Our activities in El Salvador during the month of June were due to a request made to us in the fall of 2013 by some of the reformed pastors in that country. Many of them were Gerry’s students back in the mid-eighties when we lived there. We were contacted in the fall of 2013 to consider coming back to El Salvador to visit the work the reformed pastors had been engaged in during the years of our absence (24 years later). Our daughter, Leslie, was born in El Salvador, and due to her seizure disorder and developmental delay, we were led to return to the United States for medical reasons…and family support. It was a vary painful time of our lives since our calling to serve in CRC World Missions was our guiding thought throughout seminary and the early years of our marriage.

When we were asked to consider returning to El Salvador for two weeks, Gerry responded with a concern that we have two children with disabilities that require a lot of care, and, we would pray about the request and get back to them. Immediately following that email to our contact person, Ivan Montes, wrote again and prevailed on the opportunity to invite us to speak on the subject of ministry among the disabled population of El Salvador. Many people live with injury and disability as a result of the Civil War of the 1980’s. Since Ivan serves on a government appointed committee that serves the population of individuals living with disabilities, he set about convening groups of people that would benefit from our experience as parents of children with differences.

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A Perfect Tool for Presentations

We discussed what material we would use and reproduce for these presentations and naturally The 5 Stages came to mind. We also used the CRC/RCA publication “Inclusion Handbook: Everybody Belongs, Everybody Serves” (first edition). We discovered that these were already translated into Spanish so we sent the material down to Ivan who began to review it and got very excited about it. We had 100 copies of Las Cinco Etapas and the Inclusion Handbook reproduced to use at our presentations. Both were well-received as new resources for the leadership of the Church in El Salvador.

  1. Our first presentation was to approximately 30 church leaders and government officials who were convened to assist civic agencies in complying with the laws established in 1993 regarding the rights of the population of individuals with disabilities. CONAIPD is the acronym for El Consejo Nacional de Atención Integral a la Persona con Discapacidad. This government-appointed committee is assigned the work of assessing, promoting, educating, and monitoring the application of the law concerning rights for the disabled in all of El Salvador. Ivan, our contact person (and a reformed pastor), asked that we speak to this very ecumenical group of church leaders, not to teach the reformed perspective, rather to prompt a response to Christ’s call to assist “the weak and vulnerable” in our societies. The churches represented were from Roman Catholic, Jewish, Reformed, Episcopalian, Lutheran, Presbyterian, Methodist, Baptist and Pentecostal congregations. The 5 Stages document and Inclusion Handbook now have a very broad exposure in the country of El Salvador through the lives and ministries of these conference participants.
  2. Another presentation was made to about 50 members of the Supreme Electoral Tribunal which has the government mandate of creating models of participation for those living with disabilities in becoming educated on voting ballot issues and candidates running for office, as well as providing opportunities for those with disabilities to participate in federal and local elections. A lively discussion of assisting the population who live with disabilities in the voting process from a bi-partisan perspective ensued, which included discussion of the difficulties of giving a voice to the most vulnerable in society. The 5 Stages document provided a springboard to a discussion of what attitude we have in allowing someone with differing political opinions to express them publicly. The task of educating children with special needs in El Salvador requires that these students be included in the general education classroom without the luxury of classroom aides or paraprofessionals.
  3. A third opportunity to use Las Cinco Etapas was at a teacher training at the headquarters of “Marcos 2:  Ministerio a Personas con Discapacidad.” Approximately 25 men and women involved in ministry among the disabled population in local churches gathered to discuss changing attitudes toward those living with disabilities. When asked where we locate ourselves in the journey of Las Cinco Etapas, there were many testimonies of inclusion from the participants, but also tears of repentance and grief for misunderstanding the needs of the marginalized population.
  4. Fourth, Gerry and Ivan led a discussion of The 5 Stages with a group of public school teachers who are given the task of classroom instruction for the general education population and the special education population in one classroom without the luxury of paraprofessionals or other interventionists. Special education classrooms are diminishing due to funding limitations, so the general education teachers are expected to instruct children with special needs without any formal training themselves. The need for developing compassion in the teachers and in the homes from which the special needs students come is profound and The 5 Stages document raises that compassion level by addressing the attitudes towards those who live with challenges. Several participants expressed new energy, hope and ideas for inclusion as a result of that particular presentation.

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I believe that God blessed a great many Salvadoran church leaders and schools with Las Cinco Etapas journey document. One pastor responded by saying that his copy would be the basis for his sermon on Sunday…projected on the screen for all to see. Our contact person was thrilled by the reaction of many of the church leaders and their response to Las Cinco Etapas journey. Our prayer is that it will reach into the lives of many so that hope is rekindled in their hearts and lives.

LauraKoningheadshotLaura Koning has been involved in disability ministry for about 26 years.  She is the mother of four children, two of which live with distinctive disabilities.  One daughter has severe and multiple disabilities and a son who has Down Syndrome. Recently Laura and her husband, Rev. Gerry A. Koning, were invited back to San Salvador, El Salvador, where they served briefly as missionaries working in church development and theological education in the late 1980’s.  Since Laura’s daughter with severe disabilities was born in El Salvador, she was asked to speak on the topic of including individuals with disabilities in church, school and society. Laura is also a member of the Advisory Committee to the Disability Concerns office of the Christian Reformed Church of North America.


Saying “Congratulations” Matters

The past two years have given me one experience after another to share with others The 5 Stages. It’s been an honor to be invited to speak in front of groups of all sizes to show them how important changing attitudes really is. Throughout these experiences I am certain I have learned more about disability attitudes than what I have ‘taught.’ One of the most influential experiences I have ever experienced happened earlier this year.

I had the opportunity to present the 5 Stages at a church in Hudsonville, Michigan, in January 2014 and in attendance was a friend of mine from high school. I have not kept in contact with her, outside of seeing her Facebook posts, since we graduated in 2002. Because we were friends on Facebook I was aware she and her husband had their third child just over 10 months prior to that evening and he was born with Down syndrome. She of course, like every new proud parent, posted a picture of him on Facebook with all his birth stats and explained he was born with Down syndrome. Without even giving it any real thought I just wrote the typical “Congratulations!” on her post and then wrote a little bit about how I worked at Elim and I would be more than happy to walk down this road with them as they figure out their sons unique needs. Keep in mind I must have been the 50th or 60th person to comment on this post.

Before I posted it on her wall I sat there staring at it thinking, “What if she gets mad? What if she responds, ‘Who do you think you are, not talking to me in 11 years and the first thing you say to me is this?’” I was worried about her reaction, but I posted it anyway. Flash forward to me talking to her face to face in Hudsonville about the day Owen was born; and for the first time I found out her reaction. Through tear-filled eyes she recounted the details of that day and then mentioned my comment on Facebook. She told me I was the first person to say, “Congratulations…everything was going to be ok…her son was going to be an incredible blessing in their life.”

Thinking back on this story has reminded me of a couple of things. First, every life…EVERY life, is a blessing from God. Whether a baby is born without deficiencies, or with Down syndrome, or with cerebral palsy….. each life is created in the image of God. My friend’s son was born with Down syndrome and will live with it his entire life, but God has a plan for him just like every baby born that day, or week, or month.

Secondly, I’m reminded that disability awareness is lacking in our world. We need to help others recognize that a baby born with a disability is not something to mourn. God creates each of us uniquely, with different abilities. Our abilities or inabilities do not determine our value; we have value because of who we all are – God’s children. God has placed a call on each of our lives, including the lives of those with disabilities, and we need to equip each other and all of God’s children to answer that call.

We need to change attitudes.

I hope my story helps you start by saying, “Congratulations!” to every mom and dad, including those parents who children are born with special needs.

 

Dan Quist is the former Church Relationship Coordinator at Elim Christian Services. He is currently serving at Timothy Christian Schools as their Director of Admissions and Student Recruitment. Quist has a degree in Secondary Education and a Master’s in Educational Administration. He resides in Palos Heights, IL with his wife and two children.

 


The 5 Stages – Why It Exists

“Oh. Yeah,” the elderly gentleman said. “I know all about Elim. It’s great what you do for those kids.”

I could only manage a half-hearted “thank you” as a response, which was directed mostly at his back as he walked away from my booth. at a ministry fair. Now, I know Elim would not exist without the support of a man like this. But that didn’t stop me from inferring certain conclusions from what he said. He may have meant nothing more than “I know what you do.” However, this is what I read in to his comments:

  • I know what Elim does, and don’t need to know any more (or get more involved).
  • You serve those kids, the ones that have troubles and disabilities, the ones I don’t really think need much more than what you’re doing for them.
  • I don’t need to spend any time with you.

These sorts of comments stir up a frustration in me. There’s this thing called ‘holy discontent,’ and I’m not sure that’s what I felt, but I certainly was ‘discontented’ with his reaction. After hearing similar comments through the years, I started to conclude (too often) that no one seemed to care, and no one seemed to understand why they should care.It seemed like most people just felt like people with disabilities existed (sometimes unfortunately, because of the burdens that came along with caring for them) and that was all. We didn’t need to pour any extra special effort into their lives.

Many people have no reason to see anything wrong with that attitude. Even I struggle to articulate this. But it is this frustration that we are attempting to overcome with “The 5 Stages.”

As a tool, the 5 Stages is designed to:

  1. Open conversation about our attitudes toward people who live with disabilities.
  2. Prompt thought and change within families, groups, churches, schools, and communities.
  3. Equip others to spread the message to change more attitudes.

The 5 Stages, which you can review here, is designed to be a self-diagnostic tool. It allows regular people who may have never given a second thought to people with disabilities, the opportunity to assess their attitudes, and usually determine their attitude to be lacking.

Once we see that God calls us to a different attitude, we find a reason to talk about it, to pray about it, to change it. And if the tool is simple enough, straightforward enough, and accurate enough, it is easy to share with others.

The 5 Stages exists because God’s Kingdom is at hand. He is building His Kingdom through the lives of His people, and He calls all of His people, including those who live with disabilities, to be part of that work. I hope this site can be an inspiration for you, for your family and church, for your school and community, to adopt a “Stage 5” attitude toward people who live with disabilities, so that you will equip them to be your “Co-laborers.”

Future posts will talk about how the 5 Stages is designed to do these things, and I hope you’ll stay with us to be a part of the conversation, or maybe even to join the team.

 

danvp_avatarDan Vander Plaats is the Director of Advancement at Elim Christian Services in Palos Heights, Illinois, a ministry that exists to equip people who live with disabilities to answer God’s call on their lives. He is also a member of the advisory committee for Disability Concerns for the Christian Reformed Church. In 2009, he developed “5 Stages: The Journey of Disability Attitudes” as a resource for Elim. The 5 Stages helps churches and individuals assess their attitudes toward people with disabilities. He is married to Denise (Hiemstra), and is father to Ben and Emma. They are members of Orland Park Christian Reformed Church in Illinois.